Dear Shrek,

Last season, I felt that I was doing my team a favour, by stepping in as a wicket keeper, as we had no-one else to do it. The 2 regular keepers had fingers like glass, and the most established keeper has long since given up the gloves, as he has had a steel plate inserted into his back. They are not quite sure what caused the initial problem, but they think it is a rare genetic disorder where part of his body is weighing him down from the front, therefore putting strain on his back. However, instead of being appreciative of my efforts, my teammates said that I looked like I was keeping wicket with a pair of saucepan lids. I thought my average bye count of 125 per game was pretty standard. What do you suggest?

Regards

Mike Rophonehead

Dear Mike, 

Unfortunately you are either born to keep wicket or you are not. It sounds like you are not. I suggest you hang up the gloves and if you are not content with just fielding, try and develop other parts of your game where you feel you may be strong, like bowling inswinging beamers at 90 year olds that follow them like homing missiles.

Regards

Shrek